Back to the Philippines

Lately, I have been seeing several Google searches that led to my site that pertain to people wanting to bring their non-Filipino significant others to the Philippines. I have also seen some blogs and forums talking about this same topic. It’s really interesting to see that a lot of foreigners from developed countries actually consider moving to the Philippines to be with their Filipino/Filipina partner and most of them seem to be all very happy with their decision. But with regards to practical matters on how to do it smartly, it seems that many are clueless about it or are just curious about how to actually proceed with it.


Personally, I also fall into this category myself. These are the things I consider important issues to deal with :

• Language

Will my husband actually have the patience to live in a land where everyone speaks another language behind his back or in a party, people will speak English to him at the beginning but later revert back to the local dialect? How eager is he to learn it? My husband told me he is very confident that he will learn Tagalog quickly. I guess this actually depends on the personality of your partner if he is cool with it even if he gets surrounded by people who speaking the dialect. Here in the Netherlands, it’s about the same situation. People speak almost perfect English and even sometimes can sound like someone from UK or America but later on amongst themselves they would speak in Dutch again. It is harder to connect on a deeper level to people if they are speaking to you in a second language rather then their own.

• Career or business prospects

I think it is worthwhile to consider how long you intend to stay there. If it is permanently it is worth considering either reacquiring your Filipino citizenship (if you have lost it). If you are a Filipino citizen you can apply for permanent permanent resident visa otherwise known as the 13 (a) visa in his country’s Philippine embassy and then maybe you could take up employment. This I am not sure of. Owning and operating a business though is another thing. In my opinion, being self-employed is the best option for a foreigner especially if he comes out overqualified in many job postings because of age or salary expectations. There is really not enough jobs out there to even consider competing in the local job market. For starters, if you are a native English speaker you can offer to teach English to individuals. Koreans have been coming here in droves to learn English and settle. When I was still in the Philippines, this wasn’t even happening yet. It would be also worth investigating what kind of businesses (Tagalog: raket) the Koreans are doing in our country. We could learn from them. We already know about this fact that a lot of Filipinos leave the country because of lack of good employment prospects. I discussed this in detail in my article Visa Options for Longer Stay in the Philippines

• His Family

Does he or she have elderly parents that he might leave behind? Maybe it’s good to reconsider if it’s really good to leave his parents behind. What about bringing them over to the Philippines as well? Otherwise, understand that if there is a family left behind that would miss him (or her) dearly it would be good to plan and budget for regular visits back to your partner’s family. You know that feeling of being disconnected from family and you know you must support your partner in anyway you can.

• Your Family

There are those that come from respectable families and there is no issue about family asking for money from the foreign partner but I have seen time and time again foreigner/expats who complain that Filipinos always expect them to give and share money. This mentality of sharing is really perverted and it is a twisted way of thinking that if you are poor you deserve to extort money from foreigners and it is your right to do so. Please, if you truly love your partner, shield him from this mess. Try to act normal and modest around your family and no one will probably bother you. Tell them you are not rich and are still trying to settle to a new country. Tell them the truth that the money you have is budgeted towards something else like building a family or a place to live in. Don’t fall into a guilt-trip just because someone stops talking to you or thinks you are kuripot (stingy) because you turned down their request.

On the other hand, if your family is the good and respectable kind. Let them know that they don’t have to act extra nice and be overly hospitable to the extent that their normal lives are disrupted from your move. Tell them they can act normal and it’s fine if they go about with their personal lives as usual even if both of you are there.

• Living Arrangements

We already know for a fact that in many cultures such as in Europe, Canada, Australia or United States privacy is valued highly. This has its own pros and cons. It worked for them culturally and we have to respect it. It is really a good idea to plan for your own place in the long term if it is not possible to do it immediately. Studios and 1-bedroom apartments of varying price range are not hard to find especially if you consult a broker. Also one thing, try to ask yourself how much heat tolerance you have.. Believe me, airconditioning works wonders for comfortability. Consider looking for a place with airconditioning or buy a unit and install it. A well-ventilated place is also another idea if electricity bills become too expensive for your budget. Also, know that some places in the Philippines are prone to flooding. Make sure you ask around first before signing up a lease or buying land.

• Health

Depending on your age and state of health. If you are taking regular medications for some medical condition consider searching for HMO’s or health insurance options in the Philippines. Compare the cost of these local HMO providers with international health insurance providers such as AXA. And even if you know you are young and healthy I think it is still worth planning for. Will you be able to afford the costs of medical treatment in case a catastrophic illness happens? I’ve heard people say that medical costs are really small in the Philippine compared and some just rely on having some savings ready instead of paying monthly for an HMO so decide how much risk you are willing to take with regards to health care. One thing that I know that holds back many people in their retirement age from going back to the Philippines is that their country of nationality offers free health care or benefits but only if they reside there. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that and that is actually a good thing to take advantage of. I think some stay a few months in their old country and the rest of the year in the Philippines in order to fulfill residency requirements so try to research your country’s rules on this.

• Prepare for Culture Shock

Culture shock is experienced by people in various ways. It can be described as an experience a newcomer has in a foreign country that is something like a disorientation, disgust, overwhelm and frustration in light of a sudden change of environment or value system. This is quite a topic in itself and I’d like to discuss this in a future article. I am sure most of us living abroad know what this is but I think it is a good idea to explore this further.

In future posts I will also share how these ideas come into reality in our plans to go there in August.

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• Visa Options for Longer Stay in the Philippines
• A Visit to the Philippine Embassy (Part 3)
• A Visit to the Philippine Embassy (Part 2)
• Health Advisory for Philippine Travelers
• More on Dual Nationality for Filipino - Americans
• A Visit to the Philippine Embassy